Little Ray of Light
by Masaichu
Summary: His end is too close, and it breaks her heart to say goodbye. But she's not alone in her suffering. Mention of KaitoxMiku. Based on the songs Saihate and Shining Ray.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Vocaloids, or the songs Shining Ray or Saihate. The translations of lyrics have been changed just slightly to have them make more sense. Also, Haku Yowane and Dell Honne belong to CAFFEIN.**

--

"Are you...Are you sure that's what it is?"

Her voice is trembling slightly as she listens to the doctor explain it to her again. Every symptom is there. The shortness of breath, the unbearable chest pains, and of course, coughing up blood into a bucket...

How could she not have seen it? And she kept letting cause more damage each and every day! How could she have just not seen it until it was too late?

"-but there are many treatments we-"

What if it was too late to do any of these so called treatments? Or if they were dangerous? They didn't even have enough money to pay for things like these!

"-and as I said before, you...Ma'am? Are you listening?"

"...Tell it to me...One more time...He...Are you really sure that's what he has...?"

The doctor sighed and cast his eyes down sadly. He hated so very much to tell patients and loved ones these kinds of things.

"I'm afraid that after all the tests we've gone through, all the signs indeed point to it being lung cancer..."

--

That horrible sound of hacking and wheezing reached her ears again. Grabbing the pinkish tub off the floor, Haku handed it to Dell and turned away.

Coughs and chokes were mixed in with droplets of blood splattering into the tub.

"D-Dell-san..." Her body shivered when she tried to hold back her tears.

"I'm...I'm alright...Haku..." Dell's voice was weak and hoarse. Flopping backwards into the bed again, the tub dropped back on the floor with a thud.

Haku didn't dare glance into it to see what was inside.

Turning back to her brother, she watched his chest rise and fall quickly, as though gasping for each breath it needed in order to keep going on.

Despite that, he still smiled at her with all he could muster.

"Heh...I guess...This is what I get for smoking so much for so long..."

"D...Don't say that...You don't deserve this at all..."

"I know that I don't..." He sighed and closed his eyes, hand clenching into a fist. "If I had just gone in a few monthes earlier...When it first started happening..."

"Why didn't you tell me...?"

"Haku, you...You have enough to worry about...Without me there slowing you down..."

She didn't speak again for a long time. The rest of that afternoon was spent trying to suppress the tears.

--

_Reaching for the basket of fruit_

_In the bed where I sleep alone_

_I feel time slowly passing me by here_

_But I don't want my memories to fade_

--

"Ne, Dell-san, you have to eat something..." Haku pressed on, holding out an apple and a banana. "They said fruit would be the best food for you now..."

"Later, alright? I'm...Busy here..."

Propped up in the bed, Dell was currently engrossed with the large book in his hands. The old photo album that he hadn't seen in so many years. The one he'd believed was lost ages ago.

How long had Haku been adding to it?

"Look...There's a picture of when we were in that guitar contest...How on earth did you get a picture of that?" He asked while not breaking his eyes from it.

They looked so happy in that moment. Guitars raised, smiles across their face, arms raised and ready to play...

"I asked for it from the others who were there...Dell, please eat it now..."

"And this one, of us at the park that one time..." He said, ignore her question.

She was ready to just give up when one of the doctors came in and asked to speak with her yet again.

Leaving the fruit sitting on the nightstand near the bed, Haku gave him one more look before exiting.

By the time she got back, the book was laying closed on the bed, the banana peel and apple core sat on the table...

...And Dell was sleeping with a peaceful smile.

--

_Whatever I try to do_

_Whatever I try to think about_

_It doesn't mean a thing_

_Because soon, I'll..._

--

"They said...They said not even...A year..."

"I know."

"W-Why...Does it have to be that bad!?"

"It just has to be."

"Don't you care, Dell-san!? This is your life!! Y-You're...Time left...How can you be s-so calm?"

"..."

"...*sob*..."

"...Let's spend the rest of that time...Together..."

--

_Don't worry, I'm okay_

_I'm not afraid at all_

_So please don't cry for me_

_For me..._

--

"Eh...? Haku...?"

Warm, wet drops fall on his chest, and he winces as they hit the sensitive, bare skin. He coughes a few times before looking up into her red eyes.

They are filled to the brim with tears. Just as they are about to spill over, she blinks them back.

Tosses them to the side.

She brings up two fingers and wipes the tears off his skin.

"Don't cry, Haku-chan...Don't cry for me..."

--

Flash. Flash. Flash.

Each picture is another second, another moment left.

One of just him. One of just her.

One of them together, arms around each other while laying down.

His skin is more pale than ever, and he looks so frail and sickly.

And yet the wide smile on his face...

It's enough to make her call it the best photo of them she's ever taken.

--

He doesn't move when she comes in.

His eyes are open, but the rest of him seems like it's gone.

Not one word of talking. Not one movement of reaction.

Just a blink of the eyes. Of sad eyes wishing for more time.

A catch of that glimpse, and she takes his hand.

She doesn't dare let go of it.

Doesn't dare even let her tears show.

She smiles for him that big, true smile of hers.

Just for him. Just one last time.

--

The beeping stops.

The line goes flat.

The hand in hers goes limp.

And she watches the tear from his cheek fall onto the pillow.

Defeated.

--

_Now I know what happiness is_

_I have no regrets_

_I'll be watching over you, so..._

_Please think of me when you look up at the sky_

--

Everyone she knew, and then some, came to the funeral. She couldn't believe that so many people had actually known Dell, or had even bothered to come.

Some of them pat her on the shoulders or back, and tell her to stay strong.

Others say that it wasn't her fault, or anyone's fault. It was just the way things were supposed to be, and even if it isn't fair, she still has to keep going.

The graveyard is small, reserved only for Vocaloids. Very few graves are here, but despite that, it isn't unfamilier to her at all.

She came here once before for the funeral of another.

Looking towards the grave in question, Haku's face seems to lighten very slightly.

"Kaito..." She murmurs, looking down before turning away and looking back at where she's supposed to.

The small window at the top of the casket still has it's doors open.

Her heart clenches and she feels the tears come. No matter how peaceful Dell looks, it hurts inside to see the only person who ever truly understood her is gone.

They gather around her and again begin the routine of comfort.

Someone taps her shoulder from behind.

She turns slowly, heaving a sob and wiping her eyes.

Two arms engulf her into a warm embrace, running a hand through her hair.

Haku's vision is blurry, and she can't see straight, but she can still make out two long, mint-green pigtails and equally green eyes staring down at her.

"...I understand you're pain..."

--

_If the door to your heart closes_

_We'll be apart again_

_I can not bear that thought_

_Of you being a rainy, dark cloud_

--

It's been almost a year to that day.

Laying a custom, blue rose upon the pile of many others, Haku steps back and look towards the sky.

Even now, she still feels as though Dell's eyes are looking at her, watching over her.

She shifts her gaze to the grave nearby, and eyes the pile of carnations laying on it.

Some are old and dead, others look new and fresh.

Again she looks to the sky, and this time, Haku smiles without hesitation.

Dell's not alone up there, and someday, all the Vocaloids will be up there together. The idea of death is somewhat frightening to her, and yet at the same time...

It feels good knowing that she won't be alone when she's there, too.

Stroking her fingers along the lettering of the grave one more time, Haku stood and walked out of the graveyard with her head held high and proud.

_"Wait for me, Dell-san..."_

--

_It was an ordinary day_

_When my black and white world became red_

_It is quite a graceful love_

_It was quite a graceful love_

_Sayonara_


End file.
